What is this need i feel for you? What is this invisible string reaching from one to another, like having an open phone line, just for the two of us? Its been years... ive tried to move on and love others that i can actually reach for and touch, yet no one of them is here any more. How can they stay by me when there is no room for anyone else in my heart? Is it my heart? It feels more like my entire being vibrates when i think of you, something you did to me twists my insides and makes my lungs need more air and my heart skips its beat, sometimes so hard it hurts.
Why do i feel this?
We never met.
We never even talked but once, and ill never forget how excited and happy as a puppy when i heard your voice. I started chatting about nonsense and shit that doesnt really matter, with all the words of me belonging to you were carefully hidden, even from myself.
Do i love you, really? Can this be called love when not once i could wake up next to you and watch you sleep and dream your Warrior of God dreams?
What is it in you?
Are you a sorcerer that put a spell on me, and now im enchanted forever, doomed to love a dream?
oh it makes me wanna slap myself hard, today i realized id do anything you asked me to...
Anything...
What is weakness of a woman that loves a dream?
Am i mad?
Are you mad when you feel me needing you, for having the same dream?
Its like a riddle someone gave to both of us and now we are living in something between two worlds.
"What are you?"
"Come!"
Sometimes your words are so clear to me, like your standing just next to me, holding my hand...
To ask of God to end this? Oh, did i not?
But relief isnt coming. Its my body that aches now, aches so bad it doesnt let me sleep at night, and makes me daydream when i should be doing something else....
Would the ache stop if we finally met? If we allowed ourselves the privilege of other mortals and enjoy each other with every matter of our beings? Would it stop? Would it?
I so miss you and i never even had you....
