Enchanted by a Ghost

What is this need i feel for you? What is this invisible string reaching from one to another, like having an open phone line, just for the two of us? Its been years... ive tried to move on and love others that i can actually reach for and touch, yet no one of them is here any more. How can they stay by me when there is no room for anyone else in my heart? Is it my heart? It feels more like my entire being vibrates when i think of you, something you did to me twists my insides and makes my lungs need more air and my heart skips its beat, sometimes so hard it hurts.

Why do i feel this?

We never met.

We never even talked but once, and ill never forget how excited and happy as a puppy when i heard your voice. I started chatting about nonsense and shit that doesnt really matter, with all the words of me belonging to you were carefully hidden, even from myself.

Do i love you, really? Can this be called love when not once i could wake up next to you and watch you sleep  and dream your Warrior of God dreams?

What is it in you?

Are you a sorcerer that put a spell on me, and now im enchanted forever, doomed to love a dream?

oh it makes me wanna slap myself hard, today i realized id do anything you asked me to...

Anything...


What is weakness of a woman that loves a dream?

Am i mad?

Are you mad when you feel me needing you, for having the same dream?

Its like a riddle someone gave to both of us and now we are living in something between two worlds.

"What are you?"

"Come!"

Sometimes your words are so clear to me, like your standing just next to me, holding my hand...

To ask of God to end this? Oh, did i not?
But relief isnt coming. Its my body that aches now, aches so bad it doesnt let me sleep at night, and makes me daydream when i should be doing something else....

Would the ache stop if we finally met? If we allowed ourselves the privilege of other mortals and enjoy each other with every matter of our beings? Would it stop? Would it?

I so miss you and i never even had you....

The Truth Is Out There

Everyone knows that Truth is the "right" way. No matter what religion or color of skin or country, each and every one of us have been tought from earliest age that Truth is simply right. You cannot lie to your parents, you cannot lie to your teachers, you cannot lie to doctors, law, priests.... not to line all the others to whome we are obliged to bare our souls. Of course, if you are Christian, for all the lies you tell to your marital partner or neighbor or even yourself, you will burn in Hell. Yes, your soul is condemned forever to Eternal suffering of breathing sulphor and devils poking you in your most intimate places. Dont lie. Or else....

And then you grow up and freeze in shock!

First shock: no frigin Santa!!!!!

Yeah, thats right, the dude in red bringing you all from the list and shaggin your mom is.... now prepare......

Your not so magical dad!!!!

Sure, he gives you cash and all, but you kind of always end up begging for more and him denying it, if your a girl, there's a big chance he will shoot your dates (or at least scare the shit out of them), he also cheated on your mom when you were in the most sensitive age, and then you had to pay for it cause he was never around to get it, but for fuck sake.....

DONT TELL ME THERE IS NO FRIGIN SANTA!!!

Just, you keep your dirty mouth closed and let me live in my fairy world where elves wrap gifts in coca-cola red while singing Jinglebells.... Shut your dirty "I didnt get presents from Santa" mouth!!!!!

Shock number two!

Girls dont have penises! Or, if you prefer, boys have extra things. You felt so fiiine being just human, and then some mental case 4 year old shows you his if you show him yours, and voila.... there goes we are all the same. Right there, in your most young ages you see there are at least two different kinds of humans living here, and most of us spend most of our lives trying to figure out how that different kind works. Buuuut... thats a totaly other topic.....

Shock No. 3:

Yeah, your so proud, finally your school days are over, and you have all this things you have planned for yourself once you get out of the walls.  You will get a nice easy, do nothing earn a lot job, your boss will be like an angel, your co-workers will be the most decent people ever, something between Fonzie and your uncle, a bit stupid but always fun and easy to make do things you gotta do, your office will be slightly below Donald Trumps and if everything goes as planned you will even have a secretary thats always willing to please you.

Ha ha!!!!

Stupid fuckers!

Where did you grow up? A mental institution where they fed you with fistful of happy pills?

Of course, what happenes is this:

Your happy as a cow if you get a job at McDonalds, your boss doesnt spit in your eyes when he talks, your co-workers know the language and you get a free cheesburger per day!

And thats about it, you pricks, all truth about the "oh, its gonna be so wonderful to be a grownup" stupid fairy tale you once believed.

Shock No. 4


continues........